06/02/2013

WHEN AND ALWAYS

I come undone.
I come apart.
I crumble down.
I drown in my own blood red tears.
I am choking.
I am suffocating.
Barely hanging on.
Desperate to let go of all that harms me.
I need someone to rescue me.
Save me from myself.
I'm afraid I am going to do myself in.
My hands are already stained red.
The storms are always upon me.
The surge always pushes and pulls me under.
Who is going to save me?
I am slipping away.
Slipping between my own fingers.
Slipping between the cracks in the floor.
I am crying.
I am screaming.
I need someone to hear me.
I am pleading.
I am begging.
Catch me.
Hold me.
Carry me away from all of this.
I just cannot go on like this any more.
My own strength is waning.
I have been on my own for too long.
This is it.
I give up.
I need You to take me.
Pull me out of myself.
My imprisonment.
Take away all the fear in me.
Take all the anger.
Take all the hate.
Take all the suffering and sorrow.
My trust is in You.
All my hope is in You.
I'm putting all my faith on You.
I am here believing, but only just barely.
I still have the cold and dark within me.
I can feel them biting into my heart and soul.
But I am still in there.
I have had enough!
This is my life!
I am my own!
God, I need You now, more than ever.
I know I've said this before.
But I truly do.
I have no one else.
Left behind and deserted.
I see all the pieces of the former me.
I fall to my knees.
Holding those pieces in my quaking hands.
Will You please put me back together.
Please make me whole again.
I just cannot do it, oh, how I have tried.
Only to fail each and every time.
I need You, I need only You.
You are the only one still here with me.
In this, my worst, You remain with me.
I was so blind for so long.
Now I can see the light of comfort and healing
  upon me.
I can close my eyes, assured.
You are here with me now.
I am no longer alone.
I come undone.
I come apart.
I am crumbling...

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY-(06/02/2013)

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