04/10/2013

LITTLE ONE, BIG HEART

Do not ever think it's all your fault.
Do not ever think you deserve everything
    you receive.
Truth is, they are more afraid of you than
    you are of them.
Know that you are so much more than they
    say you are.
You are worth more than the sum you feel
    you are.
It is such a shame to see your lifeless face.
The blank stare.
All the bruises that you try to hide.
All the scars you keep covered.
If only you could see just how beautiful
    you really are.
Beautiful heart.
Beautiful soul.
But all your pain wipes it all away.
As you draw the lines, then connect all
    of them.
In your fractured mind you see the thin
    crimson lines as all the pain draining
    away.
You see nothing but despair and darkness.
You try to blind yourself.
As you scratch x's over your eyes.
I wish you could see what I see.
You are the most beautiful girl in the
    WORLD.
Your beauty surpasses all.
They are just jealous.
They would take it from you.
Don't you dare let them!
You are strong.
You are empowered.
If only you could believe.
I know there is hope inside you somewhere.
I can see who you really are.
Believe me or not.
You will never change my mind.
I know you just want it all to stop.
I know you just want it all to end.
To be free of it all.
Your endurance is waning.
Along with your perseverance.
Oh beautiful one.
You are so beautiful to me.
But you only saw the nothing.
You saw one way out.
You punched the mirror one night.
With a shard you cut yourself wide open.
Who you really are, beautiful one, came
    flowing out and pooled on the floor.
Your life bled out in minutes.
They could not see you as you lay in a
    pool of dark blood.
They all should.
They should know just what it was they all
   did.
They are so ignorant of the fact that
    your blood has stained them forever.
And they will get away with murder.
Oh, why did you just give up?
Why did you let them win?
You gave them what they wanted.
They will go on with their what should be
    miserable lives.
They should live what you did.
If I wasn't better than them.
I would see to it that they lived a life of
    sorrow and anguish.
I would make damn sure!
I take solace in knowing that it will come
    back around hard.
I will never forget who you are.
I will always see the beauty that you are.
As I remember, that was almost me.
I tried many a time.
I heard so many voices.
Even when I was alone.
I too broke the mirror.
Then held the razor sharp shard in my
    bloody fist.
I watched the blood tracing lines down my
    wrist.
It made me angry.
That this was happening to me.
Rage filled my fragmented heart.
I stood up.
I screamed: "NO MORE!!!"
That same scared young boy still exists
   within me.
He makes up who I now am.
And those scars I bear openly.
Tell a story of hatred and fear.
As I tried to hide, they were hiding too.
I stood up, I was going to be counted.
I was going to be noticed.
I was going to be heard.

All stories are so very different.
What is for one is not for the other one.
I will not lay any more blame.
Even though it all still haunts me every
    night.
Every night I scream into my pillow.
Then I cry myself asleep.
If you want to call it that.
I still feel that same horror.
Some wounds just never heal.
In my mind I am still bleeding.
But I can still cauterize my wounds.
Even though I am infected.
The poison will be within me for the
    entirety of my life.

Young lady I will hold you in my heart.
Oh such a beauty.
May your voice be heard.
You mattered then and you matter now.
I will make sure you WILL NOT go quietly!
I will show who you really are.
All the love you have to give.
I will surely give in your stead.
I promise you that.

Are you there?
Is this you?
You are not alone in this, NO NOT EVER!!!
Not in this or anything.
Please, please do something.
Take it back.
Take you back.
Let all the fear be theirs and theirs
    alone.
They are the cowards.
Stand and be counted young beautiful one.
You have to believe, you can believe!
Do not ever think it's all your fault.
Do not ever think you deserve anything.
'Cause you do not!
You are loved.
You are needed.
Please don't go, don't you dare leave!
Oh little one.
Big heart.
Just you go live. Live!

SCOTT DAVID BUCKLEY

2 comments:

  1. Bravo!!!!!!!!!!!! I am speechless! Bravo my friend

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Elaine, as always. Even though this a fictional story, it still stirs powerful emotions within me. I am always mindful of the ones this was based on. NO MORE!!!

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